After many years of being forged in fires that burned me so badly, when all I wanted was to escape and free myself from the torture of death, one unfailing Truth emerged. When I was in so much pain I had nothing left, and was more than willing to die in that moment, something happened. I embraced it. I dove further and further in, opened my self to the pain, called for the death, asked for it with all my will and force and anger. Suddenly I realized that I actually had nothing, that I was nothing, and yet there was still SOMETHING inside of me. There was a fire that could not be quenched; a light that could not be put out.
Once, that Light was Strength, that when all my armor was gone, I had Nothing Left to fear.
Once, that Light was Love, that when all my connections are broken, I am with Everything.
Once, that Light was Truth, that when all the walls fall down, you can See Forever.
Always, the turning point came when I finally stopped resisting my destruction, resising the pain, and started running towards it with everything I had. Now, when I start to fall, I dive faster than the fall and my wings catch new wind. When the tsunami is coming, I start swimming out to surf, riding the water as it is sucked from the reef.
In this night approaching, the Gates of Transformation will be swung wide open. Will you enter, with your teeth bared (in a grin), sword in hand (holding Truth), and chalice in the other (remembering Love)? Or will you run from the barbed gate, and be caught by the brambles that close around you, forcing you closer to the precipice?
Either way, my Heart goes with you on this Sacred Samhain.
Be Blessed.
~AA~
